i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
