we have officially lost it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
