Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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