I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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