now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize