Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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