I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
