Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
