My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize