she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
