This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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