I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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