the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
