Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
