i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
