capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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