Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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