I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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