im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize