why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Panties = found
Randomize
