I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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