I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
