Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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