you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
