Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He kissed a someone with a penis
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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