Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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