Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
