Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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