at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
