You're my little dorito
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
