Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
