A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
honey bunches of taint.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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