i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
