So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
