So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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