Umm I'm too high to move.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
