Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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