Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
