Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
