belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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