Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
