I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
