you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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