I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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