she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
