thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
