I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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