i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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