Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
