I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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