Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He passed out mid-signature
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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