Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
