I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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