morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
