we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
