It's Friday. Sex?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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