She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
