This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
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