Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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